29 December 2008

The Art of Letting go...

Two years ago—in the midst of my ‘Single Girl’ life before the D.E.B.—I bought a wedding dress. I had no beau, no chap, and not a single wedding prospect on the horizon.  After putting in an Emergency Call in to St. Jude (the Saint of Hopeless Causes), I decided to follow the rather zany advice of my friend, "Bible-Belt Debutante":
Honnnnneey,” she drawled down the phone, “You gotta show God you believe!”
By buying a wedding dress? – I said in disbelief. “Yeeees!!” she shouted down the phone (and I could sense that a “Hallelujah” was forthcoming shortly thereafter.) “You have to step out in faith! Like Lazarus! As the Lord once said, ‘Build it, and they will come’! So, buy the dress and the man will follow!”  
Nonsense? Perhaps. An excuse to go shopping? Why not.
So buy ‘the dress’ I did. In fact, I got so into this “Jesus said ‘build it and he will come’ idea” that I went ahead bought four (4) bridesmaids dress as well! (Anthropologie on Fifth Ave had a huge sale.)
Well, the D.E.B. did arrive. And so began a waiting game. A game of patience. It does make you wonder, doesn’t it, how our system is set up: Woman waits patiently (or not so patiently) until Man decides to ‘seal the deal,’ and pop the question. (I suppose there is always “Leap Year” for those gals who prefer to take matters into their own hands. )
As I’ve mentioned before (see posting: “Always Something There to Remind Me”) I have had varying degrees of success in my skills of waiting and patience, and thankfully I have been able to vent most of my angst here.  
Of course, friends were always ready and full of advice, also of varying degrees: “He’s got until February! That’s what I say!” – Banshee Friend wailed. “If he hasn’t done it by then, pack your stuff and get back to NYC!” (I have learned that doing the opposite of what Banshee Friend has to say is often the best way forward for me.)   
The best advice I had came from a sage and highly intuitive friend who advised several months ago that the best way to “gain what I want” is by “letting it go.” I could tell by the tone in her voice that another “act of faith” would be required on my part.
“Stop waiting for ‘The Proposal’,” she demanded. “You don’t need it. Just live your life. Let it go. Make peace with the situation you are in now.” And, just before she hung up/rang off: “Get rid of the dress.”
It took me a few weeks, but I finally got up enough courage to do it. To let the “faith dress” go, and ultimately to let go of what that wedding dress symbolized and represents. To relinquish control, and, as my Psychic Friend would say, “To trust the Universe.” So, I channeled my inner Angelina Jolie, and listed the “faith dress” on eBay.
The D.E.B. proposed 5 days later. 


Random Thoughts said...

Did the dress sell?

Christiana said...

love it

londongirl said...

There is something so kismet about the whole journey...through the aisles and down them...here's to you letting go and letting God, here's to the darling english boy that we all look forward to toasting for his excellent judgement and charm that make you happy, and here's to the shimmer, sparkle, and shine of "the" dress that you pick out for your stroll down wedding lane! Hugs and congratulations again, lovely friend!

SWC said...

Okay, because I am so full of poop and hot air and ego (hell it is the new year girl and I am owning up to all of my good qualities)AM I the friend that told you that you didn't need the proposal, cuz that is some mighty SWC insight that I would have said, knowing me like I do.

Anyway, I am thrilled that you got what you wanted, cuz even when I said you didn't need the proposal (if it was me), I knew that you did.

Lisa said...

Wow! What an enlightening post. I have to agree that even when we don't "need" the proposal, it's so special to have someone you love in your life who feels the same way about you. I'm so happy for you!